It can be what feels like a never-ending battle when creating communication with your teen. It seems as though it is a one-sided conversation. Teenagers will try everything possible to get the answer they want, and you are trying to decide on something they want. Teenagers will badger, sulk, plead, become aggressive, or even run to get their way. As parents we tend to get backed into a corner when confronted with these communication styles until our children finally give in.
Our passion at Eagle Ranch Academy is to watch families reconnect; we are continually learning about family dynamics and improving family relationships.
As parents, it is important to work with professionals to determine whether treatment is necessary and then transition families to and from treatment. There are times when sending our children away is not needed. I believe in treating the whole family.
The teenager may be the one out of control, but the family communication and relationship always play a part in the acting out teen behavior.
Problems From Manipulation
One of the problems when not having communication, comes manipulation. Teenagers are very good at figuring out when, where, and how to use these manipulation styles to get their way. Often in our parent-teen relationships, the communication is so broken that the only thing that is said to each other are the generalities of life.
How was school today? Are you doing your homework? Did you clean your room? Why can’t I go to the concert? I am sleeping at Jenny’s tonight. And when the answer from you is no, or trying to get them to do homework or chores, let the badgering begin. It can be easy to find yourself in an unhealthy cycle and is even more difficult to stop.
There aren’t any tricks to communication; there is only talking and listening.
Teenagers do need their parent’s time and ears. Teens are just like the anyone else and want to be heard and understood. They need to sit down with their parents and know they can talk and be heard. As parents, we need to spend the time and listen to what they are saying.
As parents, we tend to get fearful of what is being said and then react to that fear. This reaction is where the communication breakdown comes in. If mom becomes reactive and upset at Jenny talking to mom about boys and sex, Jenny will never trust mom to talk about this stuff, and she will resort to peers who will lead her astray.
Teens need to hear what their parents have to say, they may still make choices we don’t like as parents, but it is always better if they can talk openly with their parents and gain an adult perspective about their problems through in life.
Positive Parenting Tips & Reminders:
Remember to listen and understand what your teen is trying to tell you. If you need to, repeat what you heard to make sure you know what they are saying. This will improve your communication and strengthen your relationship.
Are you perfect? No. Do you make mistakes? Yes. Can you learn something today that will help you be a more effective Parent? Absolutely!
You Are the Expert on Your Child
Hold them close, but don’t smother them. Love them, but don’t enable them. And, keep it simple with the basic, but sound rules that you enforce consistently. Take care, and use “Positive Parenting!”